


As Constant and As Fickle as the Sky

by jacksparrow589



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M, Feelings Realization, Gen, Graduation, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Sharing a coat, Shirbert, Unexpected houseguests, a bit angsty, graduation-ish anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 19:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21086747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacksparrow589/pseuds/jacksparrow589
Summary: A stormy afternoon leads to the questioning and realization of feelings. Pretending episode 3x03 doesn’t exist, but set around late spring/early summer-ish time of that year, so post when the events of that episode would have occurred.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rarely write without music, so y'all are getting a couple mood songs per chapter!
> 
> Songs for this chapter: “Brand New” by Ben Rector, “Fresh Eyes” by Andy Grammer

The squall had blown in on the walk home.

Thankfully, Marilla and Matthew had told her to take Matthew's rain coat. Anne couldn't really see where she was going, and her feet were definitely going to be soaked, but at least she wasn't going to be completely waterlogged when she arrived home.

"Anne!"

She barely heard the call through the rain and wind, but Gilbert could be plenty loud when he wanted to be, and this was one of those times.

She ran over to him, noting he had only a sweater rather than a coat like hers, and the tree he was attempting to keep under was of little more use than the other around them. Anne quickly opened the jacket and shrugged out of it before handing one side to Gilbert. They huddled under the jacket, Gilbert turning to shield Anne from the occasional gust of wind that blew rain onto them.

"You don't need to do that!" Anne protested.

"Better one of us than both of us," Gilbert replied. "And anyway, you didn't have to share your coat; the least I can do is try to make it up to you."

"It's not helping enough to be worth it," Anne told him. "I appreciate the gesture; don't misunderstand. But the more productive thing to do right now is to head home. It seems like there's a break in the clouds coming."

Indeed, the rain had abated a good bit, though the wind was still blowing. Anne shivered. Gilbert shrugged out of the coat, and Anne could see that he was soaked through. "You need this more than me," she told him before starting to remove the coat.

Gilbert stopped and clamped a hand across the two sides to keep it around her. "Are we going to try to out-stubborn each other again?"

"It would appear so," Anne countered, ducking out from under the coat and leaving Gilbert with it.

"Well, then, it seems there's only one solution that helps us equally while making us equally miserable." Gilbert let go of one edge of the coat and tucked himself into the other side again. "Shall we?"

Anne swallowed as she pulled the other end of the coat back around her shoulders. They were far too close. "U-um..." She turned and began walking.

She couldn't deny she was much warmer like this, and she was grateful that he'd shortened his strides to match hers, though walking was still a bit awkward. This felt... not wrong, exactly, but uncomfortably pleasant. Anne's stomach was churning, and her heartbeat was a little fast. She almost felt _giddy_. It made no sense!

"Anne..." Gilbert's voice brought her back. He stopped, and Anne with him. He looked down at her, turning slightly toward her as a consequence. Anne knew she should back up, but she couldn't, and not just because she'd lose her end of the coat. Her feet were rooted to the ground. "Thank you for stopping. You didn't have to, and I'm sure this isn't how you'd like to spend your walk home, but I'm grateful you did."

"Oh... Um, you're welcome. I... know you'd do the same." Oddly, she meant it.

The corners of Gilbert's mouth lifted just a little. "I would."

Anne's heartbeat tripped over itself, and she felt her cheeks warm. "We should keep going. Marilla's probably worried, and it looks like it's going to rain again, and..." She trailed off. She didn't have a third reason, but the longer she kept talking, the less she had to think.

Gilbert nodded, still smiling just a bit, and started walking.

* * *

They reached Green Gables just as it started raining again. Marilla had them both come inside, saying she would explain once they were both by the fire.

"Hello, you two. Finally made it home?" Bash’s familiar lilt greeted them.

Anne blinked. Bash, Mary, and Delphine were in the sitting room.

"A window in the front room broke, and while we covered it as best we could, it will be a day or two before we can get a replacement pane with this weather—the roads aren't fully passable," Bash explained.

Marilla took up the mantle. "So, for the next couple days, we have houseguests."

_I don't believe this_, Anne thought. _Ruby will kill me if she ever finds out. This would be the end of my reputation._ She sneaked a look at Gilbert, who was thanking Marilla. "I'm going to go change into dry things," she said quickly.

"You can show Gilbert the spare room while you're up there," Marilla told her. "Bash thought to bring a change of clothing for him, thank goodness." The rain had started well and truly pouring again.

Anne didn't dare look back, trusting that Gilbert was following her. The slight tug on the steps behind her, and the second set of footfalls told her she was right. She mutely indicated the room Marilla had spoken of to Gilbert. He smiled slightly and thanked her, before entering the room and closing the door.

Anne went to her room and did the same, leaning against the door for a moment. She pulled the ribbons from her hair and finger-combed her braids out. She'd brush after she'd changed, and everything did need changing.

Several minutes and fresh underthings and a blouse, skirt, and stockings later, she was dry. She laid out her things around the room, trying to make sure her underthings wouldn't be visible with the door open. That accomplished, she opened her door before beginning to brush her hair. She'd lost herself in thought after a few minutes, and didn't hear Gilbert walk up to her door. She noticed him only when he cleared his throat, causing her to nearly drop her brush.

"Something you need?" she asked, managing to sound both faint and testy at the same time. Quickly, she started braiding her hair into a single plait.

"Marilla called up to us. You didn't respond." Gilbert leaned on her door frame. "Nice view. It must be, I mean when it's nice out." He cleared his throat. "Come on, let's go down and see what Marilla wants." He let Anne exit the room and walk ahead of him. All the way down the stairs, she stood tall and didn't turn around whatsoever, but by dinnertime, she'd managed to relax.

After dinner, she and Gilbert did their schoolwork mostly separately, only checking with each other on a few things. Anne retired early with the excuse that she was tired, which was true, but she also had felt the first twinge of her monthly courses coming on. Gilbert seemed slightly concerned, but didn't protest.

Of _course_ it would happen now, she thought mournfully to herself as she arranged what she needed. As she tried to fall off to sleep, she hugged a pillow, hoping it would heat up enough to soothe her a little bit.

Later, when she'd heard Gilbert go into his room, she quietly donned her robe, tiptoed downstairs, and heated herself a cup of milk. Mary caught her eye and shot her a sympathetic glance, but said nothing.

When she got to the top of the stairs, however, Gilbert was... was he actually pacing by her room? When he saw her, he stood still until she walked up to him.

"Is everything... Are you alright?" he asked, concern writ plain across his features.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep, and figured some hot milk might help." Anne tried to summon a yawn, but it wouldn't come.

"You're sure? You’re not feverish or anything?" Ah, there it was: the future Doctor Blythe, always worrying for the health of others.

Anne nodded and managed a small smile. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern."

Gilbert returned her smile. They stood there for a few moments, not saying anything, but just smiling at each other.

Finally, Anne realized it had been too long, and cleared her throat. "Well, good night."

"Y-yes, good night." Gilbert padded back to the room he occupied. He cast one last glance over his shoulder as Anne did the same. Anne quickly shut her door, but took a moment to walk to her bed, unaware that Gilbert was doing the same next door.

Still, she thought, his concern was nice. She appreciated it more than she'd admit to anyone, especially Gilbert. And that waver in his voice before he said good night... She couldn't pinpoint why it made her feel just a bit warmer inside, but it had.

Even though it still took a while, Anne drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: “Crush” by David Archuletta (yes, I know I’m showing my age here, but it’s a cute song!), “Sort Of” by Ingrid Michaelson

“Anne...”

Someone was gently shaking her shoulder. Anne blinked awake. “Mmm?” She realized her visitor was Mary. “Good morning, Mary.”

“Marilla sent me up to tell you. You’re certainly not getting to school today; it’s rained all night and the creeks are up over their banks.” Mary leaned closer and whispered, “If you leave your cloths for me, I’ll be happy to deal with them. I’ve got Delphine’s nappies to contend with, anyway, so it’s no trouble.”

Anne blushed. “Oh Mary, I couldn’t!”

Mary smiled. “You can, and you will. It’ll be my way of thanking you for putting up with us.”

“It’s no trouble! You’re no trouble!” protested Anne.

Gilbert’s head popped into Anne’s doorway. “Everything okay?”

Anne momentarily lost the ability to speak.

Mary turned to Gilbert with a grin. “No school today—everything’s too muddy where it’s not just plain water. I fear we’ll all drive each other mad before the day’s out, though Anne’s insisting otherwise.”

“Sounds like a challenge,” Gilbert teased, and Anne’s stomach and heart seemed to completely switch places. The wry smile he had was the definition of dashing, and Anne simultaneously hated and adored the way it made her feel.

She managed a short laugh after a moment. “Well, if you’ll all leave me to dress, I’ll be down in a moment, and then… well, I suppose there’s a full day now to work on sums and essays.”

Gilbert popped out of the door frame just as quickly as he’d entered it. Mary stayed long enough to arrange for Anne to pass off her soiled pads before going downstairs.

Anne realized it was the third time Gilbert had seen her with her hair down. She wondered what he must think. He had hardly looked at her differently when her hair had been short (though he’d gently tweaked the end of one of her braids as they’d walked home the first day her hair had been long enough for them, causing her to laugh and slap his hand away), but it seemed to her that he’d stared just a bit longer when her hair was down, and she didn’t like to think about what that could possibly mean, because her thoughts always brought her back to Cole’s words.

“_You know Gilbert has a crush on you, right?”_

She was, she realized, slowly becoming aware of the truth of that. And worse; that what she was feeling for him was no different.

Anne clapped a hand to her mouth, suddenly nauseated and very much feeling the urge to cry. As much as she tried to tell herself it was just her cycle, it wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

“Anne?” Mary sounded concerned.

She took a few shaky breaths. “C-coming!”

* * *

She’d managed to get through breakfast, and even a little bit of studying before she could bear company no longer.

Anne knew it was impolite, but she’d fled the sitting room without so much as a word to Marilla, who called after her. Anne had given some vague reply about needing to tidy her room. To her credit, she did put away her now-dried things. However, with her hands shaking slightly, it took longer than it should have.

She laid down on her bed and tried to read the words she’d written earlier, but the lines started blurring together and making no sense as her mind raced in circles around the realization she’d had earlier.

“Anne...” Marilla had come to check on her. “Is something amiss?”

“I… it’s just… my time, you know,” Anne said quietly. “It seems particularly arduous this month. But Mary graciously offered to help with my laundry, so that’s some comfort.” She gave Marilla a thin smile.

Marilla seemed mostly convinced, but only mostly. “Are you sure there’s nothing else troubling you? I know the sudden change in living situation can be upsetting, even if it’s temporary.”

Anne took Marilla’s hand and her smile broadened a bit. “It’s fine Marilla, truly, but I appreciate your asking.”

Marilla grasped her hand back. “Well, just know that… if you need to talk to someone, I’m right here.”

“Thank you, Marilla.” Anne stood and wrapped her guardian in a sincere hug. “I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

Marilla kissed her on the cheek and left. Anne felt only marginally more settled, but it was enough to come back downstairs. Before getting back to studying, however, she took a moment to hold Delphine while Mary worked on the laundry and Bash went out to the barn with Matthew to check on things.

“There you are.” Gilbert smiled up at her. “I need an eagle eye to look over my essay, and I know you won’t let any spelling mistakes get by. I’ll look over yours, if you’d like.”

Anne nodded with a faint smile and allowed Gilbert to exchange the essay she was holding with his.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked after a moment. “You seem… subdued.”

“I’m fine,” Anne insisted. After a moment, she relented just a little. “It’s just… the excitement of yesterday. I didn’t sleep very well.” She bounced Delphine as the baby fussed a bit. “I’m sure I’ll sleep better tonight.”

Gilbert looked less convinced than she’d hoped, but he left it alone and looked over Anne’s essay while she looked over his. They traded back a few minutes later with only mild suggestions for improvement, and Gilbert took charge of Delphine while Anne worked on math for a bit.

Anne had been glancing over at him every once in a while, but had started staring plainly with a bit of a smile when Gilbert started cooing at Delphine after she made noises and waved her arms at him. It took Gilbert a moment to notice. “Sorry, am I bothering you?”

She could swear he was blushing just a bit. “No, not at all. It’s just… almost everyone gets this way with babies, no matter who they are the rest of the time, and it’s interesting to watch. Not that I think you’d be the sort of person to be unkind to babies,” she added quickly, then groaned and rubbed her forehead.

“It is surprising what babies bring out in us, I agree,” Gilbert assured her. “They remind us how important it is to, well to love, and to show it.”

Anne nodded, her expression falling. She’d seen so many babies, so many children who hadn’t known love. It was only her determination that had saved her from their bitter, spiteful fates.

“I’m sorry; I said something that upset you.” Gilbert sounded confused.

“I...” Anne sighed, trying to hold tears back. This wouldn’t normally happen, but circumstances being what they were, it was more difficult than it ought to have been.

Gilbert realized what she was trying to say, and his eyes went a little wide. “I’m sorry, Anne, that was careless of me to say.”

“No.” Anne shook her head. “You weren’t wrong to say it. I have seen plenty of love. It’s what’s sustained me all these years, and now… now I know it, here in Avonlea, with Matthew and Marilla, with Diana… And to see Mary and Bash, I can only hope to be so happy as they are when—_if_ I ever marry.”

“If?” Gilbert asked. “What makes you think you won’t marry?”

“There’s just very little to suggest I will,” Anne replied.

Gilbert now looked incredibly confused and very much like he wanted to say something but couldn’t figure out what. “I don’t believe that,” he said after a while. “You love so much, and yet, somehow, you don’t see it in yourself.”

Anne could feel heat rising in her cheeks. There was nothing she could say to this, because of all the people she’d hoped would see something in her, she hadn’t realized she’d wanted Gilbert to number among them until this morning, and yet, here he was, saying it so easily. The tears she’d tried to stop started running down her cheeks, and Anne sprang from her seat and fled past Gilbert to the back of the house, where Mary was doing the laundry while Marilla kept her company.

Gilbert had made as if to reach out for her when she passed by him, but thought the better of it and stayed where he was.

“Oh Anne.” Marilla sighed and wrapped her arms around the girl. “It’s not easy, is it,” she murmured.

Anne shook her head and wept.

“Just let it all out,” Mary told her. “We all need a good cry like this every now and again.” She stopped and patted Anne’s shoulder, then went to go retrieve Delphine. She returned several minutes later, looking very much like she had a secret, but Anne didn’t notice. Mary used her eyes to indicate to Marilla that Gilbert was the cause, but her pitying look said he hadn’t meant to hurt Anne. “Young love,” she mouthed.

Marilla looked to the heavens. She’d been trying to ignore it, but over the past two years, it had become very clear that there was something there that neither teen was acknowledging even to themselves. Of course the dam would break now. Of course.

She exchanged looks with Mary and sighed, silently praying that things would be better tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anne's just having a rough go of this feelings business. It's not directly connected to her period, of course, but the damn thing doesn't help, I can tell you that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: “Forgive Me Friend” by Smith & Thell, “One Foot” by Walk the Moon

It had been nearly two months since that strange day, and now the weather was bright and clear most days. The Queens Academy entrance exam had come and gone, and the results were due in.

The exam had initially kept Anne and Gilbert busy enough to dull the sting of the new distance between them, but the last few weeks had been torture, and everyone had started to notice. Diana had grown steadily more confused, but Anne refused to talk with her about it, saying only that it was too late to do anything about it. Ruby had been quieter and a little despondent. Tillie and Jane had gravitated closer to Josie, who seemed oddly deflated. Poking fun at Anne had been one thing, but Anne was so deep in her own misery that Josie felt a strange kind of pity for her.

The boys had started flat out avoiding Anne, and Gilbert had his head buried in a book so much of the time when they weren’t in lessons that he may as well not have been there.

Miss Stacy had tried to bring it up to first Anne, then to Gilbert, but both insisted it must just be residual stress from the entrance exam, and they were both doing well enough otherwise that she didn’t feel right addressing it directly with the Cuthberts, much as she desperately wanted to.

Then, the day came: the exam results were in.

Finally, the older children were buzzing with most of their usual excitement. Friendly bets were being placed on the rankings, but nobody would take a bet on whether it was Anne or Gilbert who had the higher score.

Miss Stacy signaled for quiet, and the class ceased all chatter. “I know you’ve all been waiting to hear these results, and I want to let you know that I am proud of each and every one of you for giving this your all. We have some very… interesting results this year. Gilbert, Anne, please stand.” She waited until the teens did as they were bid. “You two scored not only equally, but the highest on the exam.”

There was silence for a short moment, then the classroom erupted. Diana sprang to her feet and wrapped Anne in the tightest hug she could possibly manage as the rest of the girls clustered around her.

Anne glanced over at Gilbert, who wore an identical expression of shock and pride to the one Anne had. For a moment, she allowed herself to smile at him, and her cheeks pinked just a little when she received a congratulatory grin in return. Then her view was blocked by the boys swarming Gilbert with their own congratulations.

It was several moments before the din subsided and Miss Stacy read out the rest of the results. They’d all done fairly well—better than most of them would have guessed.

After she was done with the results, Miss Stacy told them that the rest of the afternoon was going to be spent in celebration, and that she’d brought some treats for the class.

* * *

Two hours, several pitchers of lemonade, and two trays of various confections later, the teens were slowly starting to wander home.

Miss Stacy wrapped Anne in a hug. “Congratulations, Anne. You worked hard, and it paid off. I knew you could.”

Anne gave her a joyful smile. “Thank you, Miss Stacy. I couldn’t have done this without you.” She turned and looked around for Diana, who was walking up to her with a curious expression. When she finally reached Anne, she whispered, “Gilbert asked me if I wouldn’t mind letting him walk you.”

Anne blanched. “What did you tell him?” she whispered back desperately.

“That it’s your choice.” Diana smiled softly at her. “But if I were you, Anne, I’d take it. This has gone on far too long.”

Anne gave Diana a brief hug, then walked over to Gilbert, taking measured steps and equally steadying breaths. “I was told you wish to walk with me.”

“I was told it was your choice,” Gilbert replied, a bit of the old teasing in his eyes. “I take it you’ve chosen to allow me to accompany you?”

Anne nodded. “I have.”

They set off.

* * *

The walk home was very quiet. A few times, Anne nearly broke the silence to ask, but each time, she couldn’t think what to say.

Finally, nearly half way home, Gilbert stopped. “Anne… we need to talk.”

Anne stopped and took a deep breath. “I know. I know, I just haven’t had the words. Which is unusual for me, I know.” She laughed just a little.

Gilbert remained completely serious, however. “What happened? Since that day at your house, we’ve barely talked, and about nothing of consequence. Did what I said hurt that much?”

“It… didn’t. I was surprised.” Anne sighed. “I’d just begun to realize that… that I wasn’t as peacefully reconciled with being alone my whole life as I’d tried to lead myself to believe. I realized that you really cared. That you might… be talking about yourself. And more than that: I _wanted_ you to be talking about yourself.”

“I was,” Gilbert replied. “I still am. I know that we’re making a lot of decisions about our futures right now and so little is certain, but I want my future to include you. I’m tired of waiting and dancing around the truth. I need to know: do you feel the same way about me?”

Anne took in a shaking breath, and the words caught in her throat for a second, but she forced them out. “I do. I’m sorry for not seeing it sooner.” She sighed at herself disgustedly. "It was unthinkable to me that someone could love me despite my red hair, and my bookishness, and my opinions—"

Gilbert cut in almost angrily. "It's not despite those things, Anne; it's _because_ of them! The only thing 'despite' applies to is your inability to see that those are qualities a man could actually desire!"

"Until Avonlea, _nobody_ desired them in me!" Anne shook as she said the words. "I loved myself because it was the only way I could survive and not be bitter. But until I came here, I was really the only one."

Gilbert hadn't thought about it like that before, not even that day at Green Gables. Slowly, and a little afraid of the answer, he asked, "Have I ever made you feel unwanted?"

Anne thought for a moment. "No. Not unwanted. Foolish and strange and frustrated and impolite, but never unwanted."

Gilbert let out a breath he hadn’t entirely realized he’d been holding. One corner of Anne’s mouth tugged upward in a hopeful smile, and he relaxed, not quite smiling. “Anne...” he took one of her hands. “What’s between us...”

“I want to explore it,” Anne answered, squeezing the hand Gilbert held.

Gilbert took a step toward her, and raised his free hand to Anne’s cheek. Anne leaned into it a little bit. Her eyes darted to the ground, then back up to Gilbert’s eyes. “I think you might be owed this.” She leaned up and pressed a kiss to Gilbert’s cheek.

When she pulled back, Gilbert followed and just brushed his lips against Anne’s. He pulled back quickly and searched her face for her reaction. Anne smiled and bit her bottom lip.

“If I’d known that would solve this, I would have done it months ago,” Gilbert muttered, but his smile was very satisfied.

Anne clapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes going wide with shock, but she laughed. “Gilbert Blythe, I cannot believe you!”

“Can’t you? I wanted to that day we were caught in the rain, but we were both cold and wet, and I can’t imagine that would have been pleasant.”

“Well...” Anne shuffled just a bit so they were as close as could be. “I suppose we have license to find that out now, don’t we?”

Gilbert raised his eyebrows, and he found he had to swallow before he spoke again. “Very bold of you.”

“I’m given to understand that’s something you like about me,” Anne said quietly, realizing that this was flirting, and that she was very much enjoying it.

As a response, Gilbert leaned in for another kiss, lingering for just a moment before pressing in a little more. As quickly as he’d started, however, he stopped and rested his forehead against hers instead. Anne sighed contentedly.

After a few moments, she murmured, “We should probably continue home. Marilla and Matthew and Bash and Mary deserve to know the good news—that we scored well, I mean,” she clarified.

“And probably that we’re… on better terms at least,” Gilbert added as they started to walk, Anne’s arm threaded through his. “Bash and Mary have been concerned.”

“So have Marilla and Matthew.” Anne shook her head. “Everything’s changing, isn’t it?”

Gilbert nodded. “For the better, I’d like to think, but when it is difficult, and even when it isn’t, we’ll still be able to rely on each other.” He squeezed her arm.

Anne smiled. “That, at least, I’m looking forward to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is formulaic. No, it will never get old for me.


End file.
